DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE OBJECTS OR PEOPLE?
Do you often feel treated like a ‘thing’ instead of a person?
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| Paying lip service |
If : Your partner asks you how you are, but pays lip service to your responses. It is a duty that takes it course but has no meaning in terms of really being interested in and sharing your experiences.
You are being treated as if you were an object, not a person with thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
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| sharing feelings in a genuine way |
If: Your partner can be with you in your highest and lowest moments without injecting themselves or other topics into the mix. If you are sad your partner wants to share in the sadness so you aren’t alone. If you are excited your partner makes an effort to feel the same energy and join you in that place.
You are viewed as a person with a right to have your own experiences that is important and meaningful to your partner.
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| Just a glorified maid or handyman |
If: You acknowledge the tangible things your partner does, such as household jobs, getting the car fixed, sorting out insurance claims, etc. BUT rarely notices your partner listening and comforting, sharing your time, sense of humor, knowledge or experience.
Your partner is just a means to an end, a 'thing' that gets the chores done.
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| he can have his feelings even though she doesn't agree |
If: You allow your partner to have their own feelings and values about life even though it may not match your own, you view your partner as a person. Your partner can be sad and angry about the discrepancy, but you honor their right to see things differently.
You treat your partner as a real person with whom you have a relationship that matters. The emotional connection is the important feature, not the handyman or maid duties performed.
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Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
