Connie Imagines The Worst
The pregnancy test proved positive. Connie's heart sank. How could she tell Mario? He would just flip out. He didn't want kids just yet. He would feel tricked and manipulated. He would find Connie unattractive. He would be angry with her. He would despise her. He wouldn't want to have anymore to do with her. He would find someone else. He would leave her.
Thinking and Feeling For Mario Makes Connie Feel Stronger
Those racing thoughts that spelled out catastrophe made Connie terrified of talking to Mario. She had already convinced herself of how he would feel, how he would react. In her mind she had put their relationship in a grave.
Fortified with an image of just how it would go, she finally got up the courage to tell Mario the next day. Insulated against the bad reaction she had predicted, she gave him the news.
" I'm a month late, and I think I may be pregnant. I know it's not what you want. I'm not sure how it happened. I suppose you want to leave me, so if you're going to go, do it now!"
Mario Is Mad At Being Treated Like A Puppet
Mario was mad. " You know what, I might just do that! I'm tired of you telling me what I think, how I feel, and what I will do. You expect me to be mean, and then you tell me I'm going to be mean, and set me up for it. Then when I get mad you feel rejected."
Connie Rob's Herself of Loyalty and Commitment
Connie's desperate need for predictability made her write unhappy scenes in her head which she then forced Mario to act out. The result was that she became the ventriloquist to Mario's puppet. She took away his mind, his ability to think and feel for himself. She robbed herself of his intelligence, emotions and empathy for her. She robbed him of the opportunity to offer her support, comfort, loyalty and commitment.
Open Doors and Get The Goodies
Allowing your partner to have their full range of feelings, thoughts and ideas means you value them. It means that you accept them as they are, not who you think they may be. Giving them space and encouraging them to be who they truly are gives them the opportunity to be so much more to you than your imagination can conceive.
Mix and Match Thoughts and Feelings for a Solid Relationship
Be curious about your partner's thoughts and feelings. Mix and match them with your own, and together you will have a strong resource that belongs to the both of you as a couple. That is a good solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
Resource: Togetherness sporting activities
No comments:
Post a Comment